automailed | [action]

[October 3rd again. Don't forget. This marks the second time he's hit this date in Luceti, and the first time in his life since carving the words upon his pocket watch that he's met it without Alphonse. That's probably what hurts the most, this time. No closer to getting home, no closer to regaining their bodies, even though he knows that he's only a day away from victory when he goes home. The second worst part is that he's only one day past an experiment that stole those memories from him- that he had, in fact, forgotten. Hadn't even known what the watch or the date upon it even meant.

Tch... stupid place. For the first time in a while, he hates it again.

He's going to keep up with the annual tradition anyway, for Al's sake as much as his, so tonight at the back of House #23, some time after dinner, Edward will be seated at a campfire, occasionally tossing logs into the flames, with a collection of snacks, some books, and notebook paper piled around him to get some work done. He'll be there all night, so any nighthawks or curious passerbys are free to stop in and see what's up.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...I don't mind, but it's not pretty. You sure you want to hear it?

[He nods.]

Yeah. If I'm going to consider this, I need to know what I'm in for.

Right. [He can't blame the guy. If he hadn't grown up watching Pinako and Winry working with automail, he'd have asked the same question before agreeing to the surgery himself.] Well, I can't lie to you. It's pretty awful. The surgery is worse than the rehabilitation- you can't use anesthetics because the installer has to be able to see how the nerves respond to what they're doing, so you're conscious and you feel everything. There's the recovery from that surgery- most of the time they can't even attach the automail right away because it can take weeks to even handle a regular prosthesis, never mind one that attaches to the damaged nerves. I'm not great with the specifics of the surgery, but I do know that it hurts like hell, and it was months before I could even move without something hurting. Everything aches, and I fell over all the time because my body wouldn't move the way I wanted to- the automail took forever to respond to the nerves because of the stress I was putting on my body. Sometimes I couldn't even get out of bed for hours, days, even. And there were days when I really, really hated myself for deciding to go through with it.

[But then he'd look at Al, and he'd remember how hard it must be for him, and... well, it's easy to put things into perspective when you've got someone else suffering much worse, right beside you.]

I will say one thing, though- the first day you can stand on your own two feet again, move the part you lost like it's real... it makes every second of that pain worthwhile.

[Hiccup can't lie--that sounds pretty awful, all put together and laid out like that. It would mean months of leave from the smithy, months of going without flying on Toothless.

...but what if he was here for the rest of his life? He'd always regret it if he didn't go through with it. It would mean no more scrambling, no more limping when he'd put too much stress on the pegleg. It would mean being more reliable, more capable. And here, that could mean everything.

And he was a viking. They were conditioned to face pain head-on like a welcome challenge. His stomach flips just thinking about it, but if he could just remember who he is...he is a viking.]

I bet it does. I'm...going to have to keep thinking about it. But thank you. For telling me.

It's fine. You've got a right to know what you're in for. You should talk to Winry about it, too- before you decide. She can't tell you from firsthand experience, but she's seen a lot more experiences than just mine. She can tell you what to expect in a normal surgery and recovery process.

[Since yeah, okay, he can fully admit that he and Ran Fan aren't what one would call normal, doing what they did in a third of the time it should have taken...]

[He nods slowly.]

I will. There's not anyone else in Luceti with automail, is there? [Because another testimony might be nice, too, if there is.]

[Ahaha... ha... yeah.]

There is one other person that I know of. I'll ask her if she can talk to you, though. She's... kind of a private person, and she might get mad if I give her away without permission.

[He really does not want to be knifed in the night by an angry Xingese ninja.]

[And another nod.]

Right. Got it. Noooo pressure. Definitely no pressure from my corner.

I'll let you know, though, and definitely talk to Winry in the meantime. She gets pretty enthusiastic about this stuff, but she wouldn't pressure you. She knows it's a big deal.

I will. Not like I don't see her all the time. I'm sure I can figure out a way to bring it up.

[Without being completely awkward.

...Okay no he doesn't have a prayer at not being awkward about it.]

It's not that hard, Hiccup. She's a professional with this stuff, people talk to her about it back home all the time. It would be like me asking you what it's like to fly a dragon.

[He gets a bit starry-eyed even at the mention of it.]

Got it. It's just like dragon riding. For her. But it's automail.

[Pfft. Yep, definitely just like Winry and automail.]

Looks like you understand perfectly.

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