[action]

[automailed]

[October 3rd again. Don't forget. This marks the second time he's hit this date in Luceti, and the first time in his life since carving the words upon his pocket watch that he's met it without Alphonse. That's probably what hurts the most, this time. No closer to getting home, no closer to regaining their bodies, even though he knows that he's only a day away from victory when he goes home. The second worst part is that he's only one day past an experiment that stole those memories from him- that he had, in fact, forgotten. Hadn't even known what the watch or the date upon it even meant.

Tch... stupid place. For the first time in a while, he hates it again.

He's going to keep up with the annual tradition anyway, for Al's sake as much as his, so tonight at the back of House #23, some time after dinner, Edward will be seated at a campfire, occasionally tossing logs into the flames, with a collection of snacks, some books, and notebook paper piled around him to get some work done. He'll be there all night, so any nighthawks or curious passerbys are free to stop in and see what's up.]

Comments

[pantheraleo]

Oh, yeah I guess so. I just thought maybe you couldn't sleep.

[Kinda like how he couldn't.]

[automailed]

[Edward glances over at the little lion. He's surprisingly expressive for an animal... and he sounds kind of nervous, too.

....

He pokes cautiously at the fire again.]

I guess that's part of it, yeah.

[pantheraleo]

[Simba scuffs his paw against the ground in a fidgeting manner.]

I couldn't sleep either.

[automailed]

Something keeping you up?

[He's not great for therapy sessions, but he can at least listen. A lion this small has got to be young.]

[pantheraleo]

Yeah, I keep having bad dreams.

[So he decided to wander around outside instead.]

[automailed]

...Mm. [Oh man, cat, he has so been there.] When that happens to me I like to stay up, too. You want to talk about it?

[That helps too... sometimes. Though he generally doesn't make a habit of it.]

[pantheraleo]

[Simba flattens his ears and ducks his head as he thinks about that. Again he shuffles his paw, still looking down as he starts to speak.]

Have you ever done something really terrible that you can't take back?

[automailed]

[That doesn't take much thought. The memory that comes to mind is immediate: blood, screaming, the failed transmutation, Alphonse's body and his own leg being disassembled and lost...]

...Yeah, I have.

[pantheraleo]

That's what I've been dreaming about.

[automailed]

[He doesn't ask what it was. He doesn't ask how a little cub like that can do something so terrible.

He can guess at the answers to those questions, and they're not what anyone would want to hear right now.]

If it's something you can't take back, the first step is dealing with that problem. Figure out what you did wrong - what you could've done differently - and then forgive yourself for it.

[Not easy, he knows. But that's part of the reality of life.]

[pantheraleo]

[Yeah that's not easy at all.]

I'm... not really sure how to do that.

[automailed]

It takes a while, I know that much. And it's never easy. I'm no expert, but... sometimes if you tell somebody you trust, get it all out there, and... if they still accept you for it, it helps.

[He looks down, thinking of Izumi- of how much it had meant to he and Al when she hugged them, told them that it was okay to cry, cared for them even after they'd disobeyed her and committed such a terrible taboo. It had changed their lives for the better.]

[pantheraleo]

[Ed's words make sense and Simba considers them for a moment.]

Yeah? Maybe... maybe I'll do that.

[He didn't sound completely sure of himself though. He was kinda afraid. Afraid that people would hate him if they knew.]

[automailed]

[Poor little guy, it's really eating at him, isn't it. Edward can't really do much for him until he's decided, though, so he merely nods, clasping his hands together and watching the fire. It's a hard decision to make, because it affects so much of your life afterwards. Especially if you tell the wrong person and it gets spread around. Suddenly everyone's mocking or shaming you.

There's a reason why his human transmutation isn't public information, after all, and it isn't just because it was illegal.]

[pantheraleo]

[After a few moments of silence, Simba lays down, enjoying the warmth of the fire.]

Is... it okay if I just stay here for a while?

[automailed]

[Edward watches him quietly for a few seconds, then smiles faintly, leaning back on his log.]

It's fine, stay as long as you want. I'll be here all night.

[pantheraleo]

Thanks.

[And with that, Simba will go thoughtfully quiet and eventually fall asleep.]