[Voice/Action] this is the latest goddamn post

[automailed]

[It’s an abnormally quiet household for Edward and Winry today, now that the third member of their family is gone, and while he’d be content to keep his misery to himself in any other situation, this particular little person has made a huge impact in enough lives that it needs to be shared. So...]

Hey, Edward here. For everyone who knew her, Elicia Hughes was sent home.

[Locked to Sheena, Tony, Katniss, and Law]

There was some stuff here left for you, if you want to swing by sometime and pick it up.

[Ed’s going to be hanging around the house for most of the day, though by late afternoon he’ll be going to the Battle Dome to basically destroy everything he can get away with in the simulations until he drags himself home or is otherwise kicked out. In the evening, however, he's actually going to swing by the bar. Not for drinking, necessarily, it just seems like the place to go when you want to wallow.

He's only just finished his second year in Luceti, and this happens? Yeah, this week totally sucks.]


(ooc: wow like a million apologies for the lateness of this. If anyone has ICly acknowledged Elicia going home previously since this is seriously like three weeks late I apologize extra for that, but otherwise we’re assuming this week is a good time for it. RL business for all involved delayed things.)

Comments

[originaljackass]

I was making light of the drinking laws back in the States. Me? I was boozing it up when I was eight.

[automailed]

What's the point in starting that early? Kids shouldn't have anything to do with that.

[originaljackass]

People like to make it a big deal, but it's no more dangerous than television and throwing rocks at each other. If anything, it toughens them up ahead of time.

[automailed]

Or winds up getting them attached or dependent on it. Kids don't always think in the long-term. And doesn't alcohol mess with your head?

[originaljackass]

Only in large doses. I encourage drinking, kiddo, not alcoholism.

[automailed]

Still, just get me a soda or something, geez. I don't need to start any bad habits.

[originaljackass]

Suit yourself. One Pepsi coming up.

[One glass of ice later and Ed now has a refreshing glass of soda ready.]

I haven't seen you in here before. You new around here?

[automailed]

New? I've been here for two years already.

[And he's not thrilled about it. Sipping his Pepsi now; it's hardly the placebo one might usually go to the bar for, but it'll do for him.]

I've never come here before, though.

[originaljackass]

Two years. [A low whistle.]

No wonder you look so miserable. I'm working towards a year myself, though I took a ten year dragon nap as a hiatus in between. The name's Jack Horner.

[automailed]

Edward Elric.

[He doesn't particularly like having his misery pointed out like that, so he focuses on drinking his soda again instead. Dragon, though? What the hell...?]

[originaljackass]

[A beat as Jack squints, then tilts to the side. Well, the kid is blonde, has a ponytail, and seems pretty solidly built despite his size.

And he's dating Winry.]

You're Winry's boy. Well well well, I was wondering when you'd turn up.

[automailed]

[He lifts a brow at that; Winry's boy? Seriously?]

How do you know Winry? [-To be talking about her like that, he doesn't say, but his suspicion is clear on his expression.]

[originaljackass]

[Jack assumes his most serious expression and then says with absolute conviction:]

I'm her father.

[automailed]

[The reward for that conviction is a half-confused, half-irritated look.]

That's crap. I knew her dad.

[originaljackass]

Well you got me there. I'm not her real dad. But I was her dad. For a week. My little Win, that was her.

[automailed]

[Edward keeps eyeing him like that for a moment longer before he scowls and looks away. It sounds familiar, but still.]

Okay, that might not be crap, but don't go acting all familiar just because of some screwed up thing the Malnosso did. Her parents are important to her, you can't replace that with some stupid lie.

[originaljackass]

[He waves his hand dismissively.]

Trust me, I don't intend to. Besides, her mom was Buffy and nobody needs that kind of stress in their life.

[automailed]

[...What the hell.]

You know what? Maybe I don't even want to know.

[originaljackass]

It made for one hell of an experiment. It's a shame you missed it. I might have had a bit of fun making threats to you about your intentions with Winry.

[Of course, he can't now. But that does seem like it would be a lot of fun.]

[automailed]

She'd hit you with a wrench if you tried something like that.

[And he'd cheer for her. No way he's getting lectured for dating her, sheesh.]

[originaljackass]

Don't be ridiculous, Eddie. Win and me are close. Maybe not in the familial way, but there's a connection.

[automailed]

[...Eddie...]

That just makes it sound creepy.

[originaljackass]

Hey. I didn't mean it like that. Don't make it gross.

[Gawd, Winry is like a daughter to him. He can't sexualize her. He can barely stand the thought of this kid sexualizing her.]

[automailed]

Then don't phrase it weird like that! Just say you're friends or something, geez.

[originaljackass]

Nah, it's way more familial than friends.

[There has to be something that makes her undesirable for seduction. She IS the right age, after all.]